Please note:

In order to enjoy this article, please click play on the video showing the 1982 Dallas Fort-Worth Gubernatorial Inauguration below, then continue reading:

If you cannot watch this video right now, please click here for a special message.

WordCamp DFW is less than a month away! Maintainn is sponsoring, and two Maintainners will be attending (Shayne and Abbie)!

As per usual, we’ll definitely have an excellent discount code for new accounts, so stay tuned via our twitter account.

I unfortunately won’t be able to attend, but am looking forward to catching some of the talks on; much of the speaker lineup looks brilliant.

Dallas Fort-Worth tips


Unlike the other exhaustively truthful Wordcamp-related posts I’ve had the pleasure of writing recently, I profess a strong ignorance of the Dallas Fort-Worth area. While knowledgeable locals (like Shayne Sanderson) profess the accuracy and humor of excellent infographics like this, I’m forced to elaborate on what I’ve known since childhood about the area, as well as supplement this article with research about the area.

Let’s get this out of the way.

Dallas, the infamous documentary about the Dallas Fort-Worth area.
“Dallas”, the infamous documentary about the Dallas Fort-Worth area.

As we all know, it’s been well-established that this documentary paints an accurate picture of the culture and mystery surrounding this area. Similar to the singularly-famous documentaries about the geography and culture of New York City (“Ghostbusters” and “Home Alone 2: Lost in New York”), “Dallas” takes us through the early colonial times of the area.

Your first few hours in DFW

1. Upon arriving in DFW airport, you’ll be greeted by a cheerful TSA agent or ten, who will immediately give you a standard-issue sidearm, white leather cowboy hat, and 5 quarts of barbecue chicken in a bleached cow skull.

Document Courtesy TSA and HOMELAND SECURITY probably
Document Courtesy TSA and HOMELAND SECURITY probably

2. You must consume ALL of the barbecue BEFORE departing the airport (Texas Annotated Code, §401.23, paragraph 19).

3. You must affix the now-empty cow-skull to the automobile you enter when departing DFW airport. Tip: Take a taxi! They’ll have zip ties and duct tape to help you affix the cow skull to the grill of their F-350 quickly.

Interestingly, these are actually the only laws in Texas. The rest of their Annotated Code book is just different drawings of the American flag, and some A&M game scores.

We’ll see you there!

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